I’m a beginner. It’s fun to be a beginner. You can screw up and nobody cares. You can ask a million ’stupid’ questions and it’s fine, because you aren’t supposed to know the answer yet.

I’m a beginner at road cycling. Last weekend I joined a cycling club for one of their weekly club rides. I learnt a few interesting things quite quickly:

• My saddle was too high.
• My handlebars need to be adjusted to prevent my arms from being locked out.
• Energy gels are okay but I need some real food to power me through a 50-mile ride.
• The water in my bottle should have some energy-carbohydrate-powder added to it.
• An Ordnance Survey map is essential.
• I should charge my Tesco VX1 Party Phone the day before the ride.
• Spare tubes are no good without a pump (I didn’t puncture BTW)

Drugs

Withdrawing from caffeine made me think (again) about society’s mixed-up thinking on drugs. Our society thinks it quite okay for nearly every adult human to be completely addicted to a powerful stimulant. A powerful stimulant that gives you a nine-day headache when you stop taking it. And when all of those wired adults want to wind down, our society advises a powerful depressant drug, drunk in great glassfuls. Have a few beers, a bottle of wine or some gin and let your brain melt into your knickers.

We can medicate our moods with stimulants and depressants of one kind, but not another. Addicts of one kind are called you and me, but addicts of another kind are called junkies and criminals. It’s just bloody odd.

Being human is funny. Our lives are full of intentions that don’t translate into actions. People hatch plans, give promises and make arrangements, but all too often intentions fall from the sky, like dead ducks.

So why is it so hard to stick to our plans? Why do so many people struggle to do the things they actually want to do? That sentence is bizarre when you really think about it. People struggle to do the things they actually want to do. But why? Surely if someone wants to do something, then they just do it…? No?

Diet, exercise, smoking, bad habits, obsessions, addictions – these are all things that people struggle to control in the way that they want. The reasons why are clearly varied and complex, but I want to think about the internal battles that many people go through over exercise.

We all want to live well, to be healthy, to take care of ourselves and to enjoy our bodies. Our media constantly reminds us that exercise is essential if we want to be healthy, happy, attractive, psychologically-balanced and able to sleep at night.

So after all that, why does anyone find it hard to do regular exercise? I don’t know. But I know that many people do find it difficult to stick to their plans. So this post is about how I manage (occasionally) to carry out my intentions. This blog post may contain pseudo-science or pop-psychology, so apologies if that offends you.

Power your will

1. Focus on the goal, not the process.

Some people drag themselves through gym classes, thinking about the act of exercising, but exercise is one of those things that demands one foot in the future. Don’t be here now; be tomorrow then. Think of tomorrow. Think how fine your body will feel after exercise. You’re tuning the machine. You’re letting your body’s engine roar, and tomorrow you’ll feel better. Today’s trip to the gym is much more than just a trip to the gym, it’s part of a  lifetime of well-being.

2. Stop telling yourself that you hate exercise.

Why do you hate exercise? How can you hate moving your body? Your body is designed to move. To restrict your body is the unnatural thing. Sitting at your desk all day, moving as infrequently as a sloth – that is unnatural. Running like a human animal, engaged in a chase, the hunt, fleeing danger; that’s what we’re made for. Anything else is deeply unnatural. If sitting on your arse feels natural, it’s only because you’ve got used to it. Get up and run for your life.

3. Just do it.

People who want to do something often make weak promises, saying things like:

“I’m planning on not drinking this week.”

“I’m aiming for two gym sessions this week.”

“I’m probably going to run today.”

Right. We can all see the intrinsic flaws in these statements. There’s no commitment. There’s a big escape route left in every promise.

So if you’re going to exercise, just say you’re going to exercise. And just do it. Decide to do something, and do exactly that thing. Don’t make vague deals with yourself; decide what you’re going to do and do exactly that.

Sticking to personal promises is addictive. Once you start doing it you’ll find it hard to stop. And once the momentum kicks in you’ll find it impossible to stop.

4. Savour the feelings afterwards.

Okay, so you’ve just done it: you’ve exercised. Good work. How do you feel? You probably feel tired, elated, relaxed, spent, exhausted. That’s good. You’ve wiped away your stress, given yourself a better chance of sleeping well and started something big. Think about tomorrow. Tomorrow you’ll feel better for having exercised today.

When you feel changes in your body, make sure you consciously connect them to your increased exercise. You know what you owe for these good feelings. Your mood is more balanced, your heart beat more tranquil, your complexion more sunny – you owe this to exercise. When you recognise and value the changes that exercise brings you, it becomes impossible to stop exercising because you know that if you stop, so too will the good feelings.

Want to continue feeling good? You’d better keep up the exercise.

5. Correct your false beliefs.

People have some funny ideas about exercise. Make sure you don’t fall for any crazy ideas…

Exercise makes you tired. No; being fat and unfit makes you tired; exercise gives you energy. If you’re tired, don’t have a nap, go for a run.  So when you’re feeling lethargic, run around the block.

Exercise is a punishment. No it isn’t. Sitting on your arse is a punishment. Dying at 38 of a heart attack is a punishment. Being unable to play football with your teenage children is a punishment. Exercise is a gift.

Exercise is the last thing you need after a hard day. Actually it’s the first thing you need. The last thing you need after a stressful day is a big glass of wine. If you want to reset your stress clock and set yourself up for a good night’s sleep and a happy outlook tomorrow, go to the gym. If you want to bottle up the bile and wind your stress clock another turn, setting yourself up for a tense day tomorrow, have a drink.

6. Say nice things about yourself.

Never say things like:

“I’m not the sort of person who exercises.”

“I’m shit at sports.”

“I should be in the pub.”

You may feel a natural inclination to deprecate your achievements, but don’t. Don’t reduce the power of your improvements with false modesty. Start being the person you want to be, and reinforce the new you with positive statements:

“I’ve been going to the gym regularly.”

“I’m falling in love with running.”

“Since exercising regularly I’ve been sleeping like a baby.”

7. Bottle your self-loathing.

By self-loathing I mean all the bad thoughts you have about yourself. The loathing, the resentment, the doubts, the fears. Every time you sigh at your reflection, every time you eat the cake you were supposed to avoid, every time you dream about being fitter and healthier, every time you notice a new wrinkle or roll, put that bad energy in a special place.

And when you’re struggling to persuade yourself to go to the gym, go to that special place, lift up the lid, poke in your nose and inhale deeply. That is why you’re doing it. This is why you are going to the gym right now. Because without exercise you will continue to be this fat, decrepit, ageing disease-carrier that you don’t even like.

In times of weakness, remind yourself of what you’re getting away from. Every gym visit is a step away from the things you hate. Every time you don’t go to the gym, you’re going nowhere.

8. Write down and share your commitment

Write down exactly what you’re going to do: when, where and how you’re going to exercise. No give this promise to a person that you admire. The best person to share it with is someone you want to impress, or someone who you would hate to disappoint. Explain your intentions and ask the recipient to ask you for regular progress reports.

This is a kind of self-entrapment, but if you really want to do something, what are you afraid of?

Related blog post: Writing things down to get things done

No more tips

That’s it for tips. I know it seems hard to make yourself do the right thing, but it’s actually very easy to do what you want.

I learned this fundamental truth by reading Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking. Until then I believed that it was very difficult to quit smoking. Turns out it’s very easy; I just hadn’t realised it.

A final thought on the nature of decisions

The difference between making one decision and making another is very slight. Whether you go to the gym today, or sit and watch TV, the difference, especially in the vastness of the universe, is very slight. There isn’t much in it. So we should never fool ourselves into thinking that any actions like smoking, drinking and exercising are difficult to do or stop. It’s all incredibly easy.

You’re not far from being exactly who you want to be. The struggle, if there is one, is all of your own design, and it resides purely in your mind.

*I must point out that I am far from perfect. I eat too much cake, enjoy pop music and can be deeply sarcastic. This post is, in many ways, a reminder to myself to be used in times of weakness!

In the past, life was much harder. We toiled and struggled, and fought to survive. Then, we got clever and built machines, TVs and comfy sofas.

Now, we work at computers, moving nothing more than our fingers. We drive to work, or ride on public transport. We take meals out of boxes, then sit motionless in front of screens. Life is very convenient.

Inconvenience Machines

Bizarrely, people realised they needed to replace the movements saved by machines with machines. We row, run and push against machines that resist us. After making machines to do our work, we had to create machines to make us work!

Monkeys Hate Having Too Much Free Time

Several years ago I watched a wildlife documentary about a type of monkey whose staple foodstuff is so abundant that they spend hardly any time searching for food.  With their increased free time the monkeys sit and socialise. And then, they become anxious.

Monkeys with too much free time become anxious. I suppose their minds are empty, and what fills that vacuum? Paranoid thoughts, which lead to anxiety.

Convenience = Anxiety

If you’re unhappy, or depressed or suffering from anxiety, the cause may be an excess of free time. Fill your life, occupy your mind, and maybe you’ll feel a little better. (I can’t promise anything.)

People Aren’t Designed to Sit Still

Modern life is making millions of people depressed and anxious because they can’t cope with a sedentary, convenient lifestyle. Many people avoid the problem by exercising regularly, but not everyone has discovered the restorative benefits of regular exercise.

Is Exercise Essential for Happiness?

Is it? What do you think?

(Fat Cat picture courtesy of Yukari, Exercise picture courtesy of ggvic, Driving Monkey picture courtesy of Sappymoosetree)

I think everyone should shout about the things that change their life.

I used to smoke. I spent most of the time that I smoked wishing I could stop. But quitting felt impossible. I had tried quitting with willpower and nicotine patches on numerous occasions, but nothing could free me from the weed.

I was addicted. I was hooked and I couldn’t imagine finding a way to free myself. I smoked even though I didn’t want to.

Then, a friend recommended Allen Carr’s Easyway to Quit Smoking, a book which offers an unusual way to remove the need to smoke. I read the book and quit smoking. I couldn’t believe that a book could change the way I felt about smoking enough for me to overcome the addiction, but it did. Now, I can hardly believe that I wasted so long smoking!

Anyway, enough of me being annoying or patronising. I’m only sharing this with you because I felt immense frustration when I smoked: I desperately wanted to quit but I couldn’t. Without Allen Carr’s book I would probably still be smoking, probably still trying to quit, or still obsessed with cigarettes.

If you’re wondering how Allen Carr’s book could help you to quit smoking, read it. All I will say is that the book destroys a few myths about smoking – the greatest of which is that it’s difficult to quit smoking. It’s actually very easy to quit smoking, you just don’t know it yet.

(Coffin picture courtesy of Waka Jawaka)

Mother Tongue: The English Language by Bill Bryson is full of wonderful facts. I recommend it. And I must thank Bill for doing me a huge favour: he’s given me the words to describe an affliction that I’ve struggled with for years: this wicked, involuntary jerking in bed at night- hang on, that doesn’t sound quite right… when falling asleep I often have a kind of giant bodily spasm- no, no, not like that. It’s like a big flinch. Like waking up by falling out of bed. You know what I mean.

Anyway, this phenomenon is known as a myoclonic jerk. I get myoclonic jerks. Do you?

(Cute puppy picture courtesy of Yukari*)