Save the planet / kill yourself?
I keep seeing articles like this which all suggest that having children adds to the stress we’re putting on the planet. So if a couple has more than two children they can officially be blamed for destroying the planet (not really).
I’ve often wondered about people who go to great lengths to lessen their carbon footprint and joked privately that anyone genuinely interested in reducing their liability should kill themselves.
But seriously…I do take environmental concerns seriously. I cycle, recycle, and I don’t eat lots of meat… so I do my bit (or at least a bit of my bit). I put my foot down at suicide though. I can just imagine the council suicide scheme… twice weekly collections for civically-minded citizens who help the eco-system by eradicating themselves. They could put special bins at the end of each road. Use the corpses for compost. Corpsepost?
Certainly one of the more radical solutions, I’d say, but… applied tactically, it could really benefit society. Much like trench warfare! How about luring the scum of society’s underbelly onto buses with copies of Nuts magazine and the promise of a mobile phone audio face-off, then driving them full speed off Beachy Head? Less carbon from the buses, less abusive youths, and a spectator sport to cheer up suicidal down and outs who are thinking about taking their own lives?
Thanks for your thoughts Chris – scary as they are! Have you seen Idiocracy? It’s an in-depth analysis of the American political system. Check it out.